Johnson's First Law:
     When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.
Johnson's Second Law:
     If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the  same evening.
Johnson's Third Law:
     If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue containing the article, story, or installment you  were most anxious to read.
     Corollary: All of your friends either missed it, lost it, or threw it out.
Johnson's First Law of Auto Repair:
     Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.